Relationships

Relationships we had in our life are always the reflection of our inner self. As we choose person precisely, so that we never get hurt in the end. But, what if it happened??We seem helpless and shattered. We hold our selves gently so that no can here the noise of broken heart or body; no one can see the wounds. We hide our each and every pain behind that fake smile. 

It’s not necessary that we get all what we want. Its natural fact and we have to accept it, but as being a human, chasing all the dreams with open/close eyes or craving for all the goodness we want isn’t it bad at all.

As we gone through with many personal relationships in our life. And all of them teach us a lesson. Some left us with bad experiences and some with good memories. Its up to us how we going to take all those memories to our BODY, HEART & SOUL.

To talk about all those relationships its not easy, or , if it is or will say then people would never digest it so easily. Everyone has there own perception and way of understanding. We cant make our selves to be judged or justify  ourself to everyone if we feel low or otherwise. If we speak-up people judge you as per their own understanding. 

Only few can understand that how difficult is to be a natural person in this fake world. May be am wrong but still it is like what I experienced.  Some relationships makes you strong and believe in your self. We cant change our past, and forget the memories or people we used to talk daily. But yes we can add more people in our life so that we don’t miss those people. We can get engage our selves in our new relationships. But to hitched again is such a difficult task, as you know how painful it was in past now to again gone through with all those emotional traumas and sensations is like …………………….(not explainable)

But when we started living it again, we feel like it again for the first time.We did same
mistake again with smiling face and good heart. That love again strikes and relationship build-up with strong desires and wishes. And hope this time this relationship lasts long. Because relationships matter to us.

 

@@ Reminisced :(

I don’t know, why god created such nature and human feelings.but if he created there is definitely a reason, the reason may b the strong one, but at the parallel very hurtful too. 
Since we take place at the earth in the form of “birth”,  our journey started. We meet new people, creatures, nature’s beauty and so on. Some we met and some met us unfortunately and bind a strong powerful relationship with us.

Relationships, which makes us so strong and calm with all the positive and negative aspects, makes us so fair, unfair and judgemental being for things or for people. In everyone’s life, there is a one relationship which can never be forget easily, as with all others but still A one is there for all.

In my case, I have a relationship with my sweet and sober but very powerful and hardworking lady, Grandmother
Late. SMT. Kaushalya Devi Sharma.

She is one of them who understands me really well. Whenever I was sad she knew, however I dint tell her but still there was something which she can guess only very easily. From my childhood she was so caring and adorable. As I grew up and become young lady, the bonding between us gets so strong. Everytime when I came back home whether from school or office she always waits for me and for my siblings as well. We all have a strong communicator at our home in the form mf my granny.

She was so sweet and humble. When I felt uneasy or low she came to me and teaches me lesson of life which she understands and learnt throughout from her life. I remember all her gestures and teachings. I missed her lap and and soft hands rolling over my face to keep me awake. Her kisses on my forehead, her voice when she calls me, her needs which she tells me……
If I really wanted to hide my tears from her, she knew and asks me to cry infront of her to feel free.

I really admire her in some ways. I really want to see her grew more old with good health and to enjoy every moment with us. But God calls her so early 😦

Today we all are well settled, just because of her prays, which she did for us. I really wanted you to be here with us maaji….
(… Crying)

Please god please send her back once and let her live again with us so that she can live all the wealthy and healthy life with us,as we all are in the position to let her live with all the dreams she saw, she wanted, she cares…………

Missing you maaji….Love u so much

From yours :
BINNY (BINNO)

BACK TO BLoggING!!!

Finally……after such a long time Me and my thoughts are clinging again which makes me feel proud and happy.

Last few months were not so good as so many work and tight schedule kept me away from me and my self. But now am feeling sooth and relaxed to be as my self again. 🙂

Thanks to my Boss who reminds me off about WordPress site and suddenly my mind strikes about my Blog……….how can i forget this??? This is the best way to clear yourself , your views and each and every perspective you have to share or doubting.

Anyways as m back o will try to stick there to share everything i have from past few months which i spend as years 😛

Stay Tuned with me to know what happened  with me in my life during these past months when was not open to share my views and my happiness to others……But Seriously m Happy As i Am

Happy Father’s Day

My Dear Sweet Papa :

I wanted to write you a letter (this blog dedicated to you) to tell you that how much I love you, care for you and adore you. I love mummy too but have a soft corner in my heart for you specially. You’ve always been a great father to me. I want to tell you how much I appreciate you and the wonderful memories I have of our times together. I don’t know the reality but as i heard the words from other mouths that from the childhood you always shower you more love and affection on me then my other siblings. As i grown up i felted the same from the core of my heart. … 🙂

i want to say that :

You have always been a kind and patient father. Even when I tried your patience, you never stopped loving and supporting me. I will always remember the time you spend with me. I felt so special having that time alone with you.

When I think back to that time, I still feel the love you shared with me. Thank you for taking the time to show me that  I was important to you and be the same as always been your best daughter.

 

 

You never failed to support me no matter what I tried to accomplish. You gave me the confidence to pursue my dreams. Or,

 

“Even when I disobeyed and let you down, you were always patient with me.”

 

Your example taught me how to be a better parent to my own children when i have :)…..I always adore you as a MOST HANDSOME man i have ever seen in my life (true lines) and my mother as a most beautiful women. You both are my valuable asset and paa You are a perfect example of a GOOD FATHER…. 🙂 

 

Also i would like to thank my Uncle (chachu) and wish hima HAPPY FATHER’s DAY  who also always been my father and treated me like her own daughter… GOD Bless him too… he is been good friend, philosopher, caretaker and a guardian of my life. 

 

In last i want to say that I will always be grateful for the love and kindness you both have shown me throughout the years. I hope you have a wonderful Father’s Day today and through out the upcoming years.

 LOVE YOU BOTH and ALL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

With Love :

Your Daughter.

 

A Strange “LOVE STORY”……..

Ek adhoori dastaan….

Aj kuch naya karne ki koshish kar rahi hu….kisi ne kaha k meri kahani kuch aise bayaan karo k dilo me bas jaaye…to unhi ehsaaso ko bayaan karne k liye hinglish (hindi +english) ka sahara le rahi hu.

Ye aisi bhaasha (language) hai jo har insaan k dukh sukh ko ache se bayaan karti hai, kuch shabd aise hote hai jo hum doosri bhasha me chahkar b nahi samjha paate, par hindi unhi shabdo ko ek naya roop dekar samne wale ya padhne wale k dil ko choo jati hai..

 Zindagi …vo jo khuda ne bakshi hai, uski rehamato  karam se hum is duniya me aaye, akar apni nanhi se ankhe kholi, aur unhi ankhons e sapne dekhne shuru kiye.

Kuch sapne humne dekhe aur kuch unhone jo humse jude huye the. Saari  umar unke sapne pure karne me lage rahe.  Jab paida huye to sabka sapna pura kiya  duniya me akar. Thode bade huye to sapna pura kia school jakar, fir acche number lakar, khoob padhai kar kar. Unki har baat mankar, har hukum ko sir ankho par rakhkar chalte rahe bus unke sapno ki khatir. Kayi baar kanto par chale, dil par pathhar rakhkar, apna har khwab todkar, use piche chodkar bus chalte rahe unki khushiyon ki khatir. Jab hosh sambhala to har kadam rakha phoonk phoonk kar unki izzat ki khatir.

Har sapna poora kia is ummeed me sochkar ki kabhi hamara waqt b aayega, woh waqt jab ye sab milkar mera sapna pura karenge.

Woh sapna jo hosh sambhalne par dekha tha jab koi apna sa lagne laga tha, har kadam saath nibhane laga tha, poori zindagi usk naam kardi thi, apna har din, har shaam, har raat usi k naam likh di thi, jeene marne k kasme khayi thi, har waada pura karne ki kasam nibhayi thi. Khuda se dua mangi thi ki bus kuch aur ab na mile uske siwa, k ab main zinda na rahu uske bina.

Khuda ne karam dikhaya, har raah,
har modpar usse milwaya,
zindagi ko do rahe par le aya,
khusi di, ehsaas diya, jeene ka maksad diya,
har rang, har jazba , ek nay josh sa mujhme bhar diya,
na jane kyu mujhe uska deewana sa kar diya,
chalti rahi un raho par aankhe miche,
k mujhe usne awaara sa kar diya.
Chahne par bhi door na ja saki k usne baawra sa kardiya,
honth jab b kholu to bus naam usi ka aya,
k usne mere dil meri rooh par kuch is kadar kabza sa kar liya…..,,,,,,,,

Jin sapno ko main dekhti rahi is vishwaas se k ye poore honge, jinke liye maine har aaah bhari, jinke liye har kadam kanto par chali, phoolo se ladi, woh mera sapna such karenge, par jab saamna hua un sabhi sapno k saudagaro se to jana k duniya kitni zaalim hai. Kitni matlabi hai, bus apne liye hi jeeti hai, doosro ko dukh dekar unpar hansti hai, kaun apna kaun paraya, sab me dikhti hai ek si hi moh maya.

Jab un sabhi sapno k saudagaro ne mere sapno ko kuch is kadar ronda k main siskiya leti rahi, dil jalati rahi, par kisi ne b na mere dil ka haal poocha. Bus apne hi sapno ko mere aaage sajakar, mere sabhi sapno ki chita jalakar unhe rakh me milakar, mujhe nayi zindagi ki dua de di. Woh dua jo kisi baddua se bhi badtar thi, woh khushi jo kisi gum se bhari thi, aur woh zindagi jo maut se badkar thi. Fir bhicha diye meri  raaho me kante, kar diya majboor, aur fir dekhte rahe mere chehre ka nakli noor.

Maine b kasam khayi thi apne pyaar ki, ta umar har waada nibhane ki, par mujhe kya pata tha k meri kismat b mujhe dhokha degi, vo b mujhe lakar do rahe par khada kar degi, fir puchegi aise sawaal
! Jinka na koi jawab na koi hisaab.

Jink liye har dukh saha,
jinke saath apne sapno ko jina chaha
aaj wahi har baat par taana dete hai,
dil dukhate hai humse ankhe churate hai.
Darr lagta hai unki bewaafi se,
jag me hoti apni tuswaai se,
k kai sawaal uth khade honge hum par
k saari ungliyan uthengi ek ek kark aur hum,
khamosh se khade rahenge un sabhi jawaabo aur sawalo ki kadi me.

Na jane kyu woh humse ladte hai, jab ye kehte hai k woh humse wacchanpyaar karte hai. Kyu hume apbe se alag samjhte hai, jab hum apne khoon ka har katra unke naam se sajate hai, kyun hamare sapno ki kadar nahi hoti, kya hum me hi koi kami hai, kya hum unse sapno k sahi hakdaar nahi, kyu khuda hime unse milwata hai jinhe umar bhar saath rehne ki dua nahi deta.

Pucha us khuda se k kya tune socha hai mere liye, kya likha hai meri zindagi meri kismat k liye, kyu aise saayon me ghir si jati hi, jahan aag ki lapte dhooye me mujhe gher leti hai, apni aagosh me sametkar mujhe daboch leti hai. K ab to nijaat de mujhe aise rehmo karam se mere khuda, mujhe aur meri zindagi ko na bana…..

” Ek ADHOORI SI DAASTAAN”   

Ho sakta hai kuch dosto ko ye daastan na b achi lage par ye sab sach hai aur dil ka haal e bayaan hai. Apne vichaar jarrur vyakt kijiyega.

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GRANDMOTHER…… MISSING YOU SO MUCH.

Grandmother……

She is the one and only lady who became happy and serve

happiness to others while she became a grandmother. She holds a position which makes her higher authority of the home.

As in my condition, (i don’t know but as other relatives and my parents told me) my grandmother was very happy when i came in her life. She was the lady who proud on her self as being a grandmother of a grand-daughter.

As i remember, she was such a cool and calm lady. She showers her love and affection on us in variant ways.

School Days:

She became very happy when we promoted from a class to next class. When we goes for an exam, she prayed to god and blessed us with her heartily wishes so that will do well.I remember when i got 1st Position in my school she became very happy and hugs me tightly and sounds her voice in all the near by areas :). When we came back from our school she gave us fresh fruits and nuts for our good health. She take care of ourselves in very tremendous way in which my mother cannot ….as ever. Even though when she had good eye-sights, she was used to play some indoor games with us to make a smile on our faces. She sings a song when we were upset. She dances with us when we were in a mood of swing.

As time passes on , i came closer to my grandmother, and knows about her previous life. She was such a hardworking lady. As my father lost his father in his early age, my granny became alone with two children.  No one came in front to help her, and she also never asked for any favor to anyone.  She was not literate well, but a graduate in her own terms with the experience she had from her childhood to adolescence age.  She became a lady tailor and feed her both the children well without taking help from others. She made a very strong goodwill and till date those people who knows her salutes my grandmother, and appreciates her efforts.

College days:

When i passed from higher secondary, my granny proud on me and pushed me for further studies. She was like other grandmothers with orthodox thoughts, but somehow in the matter of education seems different. She always encourages my father to not to stop us for doing study and job. I love her alot and never ashamed to tell this fact that just because of her i am here today and living a life as i want in my terms. ( Thank You Dadi.)

She was really sweet, cute and kind hearted. I love her smile and her gestures she made at the time  when she called us for  any work.  When she loves us we feel very pampered, when her soft hand roll-over from my face and head, i feel mesmerized by her. When she kissed on my forehead i felt blessed. When i sleep with her she told me stories, and gave me sweet lecture on how to make your self a woman, how to do household works etc, etc…….

[ Oh god!!  i am crying…………  ;(  ]

 

As time ranover a disease hold my sweet and lovely grandmother. My father didn’t tell us about the situation and my granny also knows but fights with the dangerous disease.  An infection effects her body and due to this her blood changes in every 6six months, and in these terms i would like to thanks my friends (identity hide) who help us. She was operated twice due to her bad health. But safely came back to home. And we all were together living a happy life. 

 

(WTH…tears are falling from my eyes……… missing you “MAA JI” can’t stop them.)

 

1st October 2012 – 7th October 2012. (BAD DAYS)

 

DAY 1

Remember that horrible day 1st October when again she felt some pain in her stomach. My father take her to the hospital. Doctors became alert as they were aware of from the upcoming situation, but they were not so sure of the so sudden.

 

Day 2

 

My grandmother was hospitalized and doctors declared her critical situation as infection move fastly in her whole body. The day i live with her in the hospital. Throughout all the night my grandmother talks with me about me and my life , my future plannings etc etc… no one can even imagine that she was suffering with such pain or that bloody disease. 

 

Day 3 

 

All my relatives came to meet her in the hospital. She talks well and joined her hands in front of every people, don’t know why but she did the same in front of every people. And that was the last day i hugged her and she kissed my forehead and rolled her soft hand on my face and head. 

 

Day 4

 

Her health became worst and she was be on ventilator. Suddenly she stop talking too. Just can hear our words but can’t speak. Slowly Slowly doctors declared that she was in COMA.

 

Day 5

 

She was not in the condition to mover her body …..bad bad bad. Dont wanna remember that stupid day…..Doctor tried alot but failed.  Allows us to take her to the home back.

 

Day 6 (BAD DAY) (GRANNY NO MORE)

 

around the time of 11:30 my father and brother came back to home with granny. She was in bad condition or can say half alive and half dead. 😦

All my nearby relatives gathered to our home.  All of a sudden each and evry thing happend. My uncle started reading  “BHAGVAD GITA” and my brother tries to put a spoon of sacred “GANGAJAL” to my grany’s mouth. 

after sometime around 1 p.m.

 

my chachu finished the bhagvad gita and was reading the last phrase my brother was spoon of gangajal and……………………………….

 

everything is finished. MY MAAJI NO MORE….

 

MAY HER SOUL GET REST IN PEACE. 

 

 

These 6 days i can never forgot in my life. 

My dadi want to see marriage of my brother or mine. she tried alot but fate not allowed. 

 

Till day i missed her so much. Her love, her affection, her touc, her hugs, her kisses,her gestures…………….oh GoD!!!!!!!!!! Miss u dadi .. miss u dadi…. miss u dadi……

 

Please come back please……….LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

 

LATE Smt. Kasuhalya Devi Ji.
MY SWEET DADI.

 

Please come back and fight with me, please come back and help me on my problems. please come back and love me gently…

 

 

 

LOVE U DADI , and missing you so much.       

 

 

My this blog dedicated to you …………. MAAJI.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dreams…..MY FANTASY WORLD :)

Dreams……….part of our life.

Dreams are our world where we are free birds.

Free Birds…..

Where we can think, can assume  can feel ourselves better and peaceful. Dreams are part and a chain between our real and a fantasy world.

My prince charming with me…

I too have my own fantasy world. Where i assume and treat my self as a princess of my prince charming. My fantasy world is full of peace, joy and happiness.  My world which i build is very small, only special people can enter  and allowed to be there with me to share my feelings and my stuffs and to be a part of my world.

ME AND MY LOVE

Me and my love enjoying each others company whole day and night. Me and my friends are on a holiday tour. I am experiencing the adventurous life daily, etc…. etc.,in short in my world i can do anything without hesitation or boundation of my parents, society and such people i hate them.

Me in my DREAM WORLD

My fantasy world is my dream, which i used to saw daily with different different views and perceptions. My dream is full of choices and options which make myself comfortable always. But when i woke up and see or face the real world, i got hurt myself. I feel my self alone whether people are going here and there besides me but still a feel be there in the core of my heart.

wish to be in my fantasy world always………

I wish to be in my world always so that i can never feel my self alone and far from my love and my friends..

I just wish……….

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MY LDR : L meanS LONG, D meanS Distance & R meanS Relationship……..LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

A healthy Relationship needs – SpAcE, LoVe, CaRe, & moreover TrUsT……

We both have all the above mentioned things in our relationship. Happy to tell the fact that completed 2 years (rest of my life too)of LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP with my LOVE.

Remember the day when he sent me friend request on one of the leading SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE, and i accepted that request just because of his profile pic which i liked most then to his profile. (silly!). Step by Step we started chatting and liking each others status , pics etc…..

Time goes on and we stick to our friendship and slowly slowly spend more time on the site and waiting for online status ( the green circle shows the person online). In between we commented on the status updations and like on the likes…….and gave stupid suggestions to each other which shows no means at all 😛 

Then he called/symbolised me as “moti”  (love to hear/read that)  in status updations and i used to called him “Mr. Brinjal” and our fight in comments goes very far without any reason which sounds childish and loving too…….. 🙂

Time came and our fate allowed to exchange our no. and we did the same. But no calls and messages for so many weeks, but saved no in our phones. 

after a break i suddenly called him without any reason, bell goes 

He: Hello !! Hello!!

Me: Silent!! (mesmerized by voice).

 (after a pause.) Hello, Mr. Brinjal…how  r u??

He: hey Moti, i am fine. What about you? 

Me: I am good.

He: Y you called me, is every thing ok???

Me: yes, fine. just called you without any reason, or may be just because your no. is saved.(Silly answer)….

He. ok. have some work call u later

me: ok. (cut the phone).

and our conversation started on and on to till date. 

We started talking on phones on daily basis as being a good friend, and he called me when i gv him a missed call….

Funny fact : The day came, we were talking at night  and he was watching a movie and suddenly i proposed him on the phone in between our conversation..

Me: (Name)!! i started liking you, or may be I L**E U????

He: Ok. (As he was just listening me but his mind concentration was fully on the movie, as he told me later)

Me: sighhhhhhhh!! WTH!!!! ok Good night.

He: Good night.

After two days, he called me and 

He:  hey Moti, can i ask you something???

Me: yeah..

He: Last to last night when we were talking, you said youlike me or may be love me?? is it true??

Me: Ahh!! ahmm!! (laugh and think: do dink baad stupid ko yaad aya hai)…

HE: tell naa!!

Me: Yaa. But i am confused, not so much sure…

He: ok. (Happy) its ok. You will realized it soon. 

And from that day to till date we are together and by God’s grace till the rest of our life’s will toooo.

In between these two years we fought so many times (as only m the reason of all the fights,  but he never blames me for anything) and again be on the line as like other relationships but a unusual feeling is burning all around between both of our hearts to be together, lovable and trustworthy towards each other.

He always listened me when i speak and always when he wants me to speak.., he always shower a true love on me when i needed and when he wants to share his feelings with me, he always obey and respects my views and guides me when i need guidance. He always be there when i needed someone very badly close to me and he always be with me when he wants to be.

I LOVE HIM ..GOD BLESS HIM WITH LOVE, HEALTH. WEALTH, PEACE & PROSPERITY…

We share so many great and lovable moments throughout the years which i can’t share and explain, but yes know the fact that we both are in Love and serious relationship which turned to be a strong bound or a knot soon.

DEDICATED TO MY TRUE LOVE…………. 🙂

UnPrEdIcTed……….. :( (:

I realize….LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE………..

its takes you to its own place ,  not to there where you want to go.

Its always pushes you back towards the darkness where you feel that no one is for you in this huge world.

“Sometimes this feel shatters you from inside but wise people always make there best to stand their selves alone”.

As my life is becoming unpredictable these days.  Which things i don’t wants to be happened with me , those are like pinching & teases  me everyday. People whom i never want to face too, are like around  me always.

These  things makes me very rough in behaviour and restless all the day.

As i prayed for something but exactly opposite things done with me. And these Unpredictable situations or will say not wanted things makes me so LOCOMOTIVE 😛

But one the other side these things makes us reminds always that we cannot live our life exactly as we want. God takes our exams on each and every step we are taking on ahead.

Any-ways  I am facing these unwanted and unpredictable things ( not mentioned briefly in this blog) but I really hope for the best and pray to GOD for giving me some patience and courage to handle these situations.